This idea occurred to me as I was reflecting on the apparent popularity my post on my obsessive compulsive tendencies has received. While I don't mean to rip myself off or try too hard to recapture that OCD magic, I do mean to keep the laughter coming.
I am the biggest coward on the face of the earth. I am literally afraid of everything and anything. Let's take a look, shall we?
- I am afraid of the dark. I usually don't stay up late by myself, but when I do, I turn on every single light along the path to my room so I don't need to subject myself to walking through the darkness. I used to run but given my accident prone tendencies I've decided that one of these times I'll fall down the stairs. Anyways, the dark. I picture the most unimaginable horrors in my mind and project them into every dark corner ahead of me.
- I am afraid of snakes. They are literally disgusting and even thinking about them makes me want to take my feet off of the ground. Did I just raise my feet off the ground? Yes. The image of a snake makes me feel absolutely sick. I used to have this reoccurring dream where there were snakes in my house's ventilation system and that my family would have to barricade themselves against the serpent villains. Apparently Hollywood Inception'd my mind and took the concept when they made Snakes on a Plane.
- I am afraid of highways. I have never driven on a highway. I map out routes avoiding highways.
- Similarly, I am afraid of parking lots. Parking lots are horrifying to me. I've generally accepted that I'm a poor driver because I spend too much time stressing about absolutely everything around me, and in such a confined space as a parking lot, something could go wrong in an instant. Regardless of how far away the doors are I only park in spots where I don't need to back out in reverse.
- I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of the Exorcist - even though I've never seen it and have only seen pictures of the girl's face. I'd talked about this here on my blog way back when ad nauseam. I still stumble upon images of that face.
- I am afraid of the concept of a home invasion. Damnit, Criminal Minds! You've permanently made me doubly paranoid.
- I am afraid of failure. Woah, curveball! Bet you weren't expecting a legitimate entry, what after reading things like parking lots and possessed little girls. But it's true: I've come to realize I never used to reach my full potential simply because I was so afraid of failing that I didn't try at all. It's the reason why I didn't get a job until recently; it's the reason why I pushed getting my license off for so long. I just don't like the idea of anything short of perfection - my idea of failure does in fact include things that aren't completed perfectly.
There you have it. Now if you don't mind me, I'll just crawl back into my safety bubble, cowering at the idea of an onslaught made up of snakes, the Exorcist bitch, murderers, and troublesome driving-related split decisions. All while shrouded in darkness.