Hobo bachelor

My parents have gone on vacation.  They've been gone since May 28th and won't get back until next Tuesday.  I hate them, really.  My dad was a top earner in his company for the year so he won a trip to Vienna, Austria and Prague, Czech Republic.  Given that both my mom and my dad are turning (or in my mom's case, has turned) fifty this year, and that it's their 25th wedding anniversary in October (it's disgusting that they've been together for thirty years), they extended their vacation to include a Mediterranean cruise and a few days in Rome, too.  Like I said, I hate them.  I'm deviating from the point.

My sister and I were left money to spend over the course of the two weeks.  My parents outlined that it was to be for emergencies, or things like groceries / other necessities we may run low on, but I've so far bought various amounts of alcohol and the Scream trilogy on DVD.

Living without my parents has got me thinking about how I'll be when I move out.  I have yet to move out - not even move into residence - and I'm now 20, so it's in my immediate future.  (we'll see if I'm on res this upcoming school year) Not that my sister and I have been left as orphans at all: my grandmother calls everyday to check if we've been eating and we've had a few visits from family members with arms full of food.  Aside from the constant family checkups, then, this is the closest I've felt to holding down the house independently with responsibilities I'm expected to uphold.  If these weeks have been any indication, I'm afraid of my future.  (don't be alarmed by my sometimes disgusting ways)

• I've been given the simple responsibility of driving my sister to school every morning, but every morning I oversleep my alarm clock and wake up to her pounding on my bedroom door saying we need to go now.  It's an absolute struggle forcing myself up out of bed - and that goes for the days that I'm not even hungover.

• Our dishes are piling up.  The point where we literally had no glasses left to drink out of was the point where we decided to run the dishwasher.

• I can't cook for shit.  I've been eating like crap lately.  My sister and I are slowly chipping away at the stock of food we have.  I drink milk like water but we've run out of milk three days ago and neither of us can be bothered to walk to the store at the corner of my street to buy some more.

• I do nothing but watch TV shows online all day (particularly that UK series Skins which is pretty awesome) and often times I don't bother showering unless I know I'll be seeing someone that day.  I've run out of deodorant, too, and much like my milk predicament I have yet to force myself to buy some more so spraying cologne everywhere has sufficed instead.  I actually haven't shaved since my parents have gone, either, because I don't have them barking things like "hey wolfman" at me.

I repeat: I'm scared for when I move out on my own.  I'll be such a lost cause it'll be tragic.  As I put it to my friend Amy in a text message, I'll be a hobo bachelor.  "I'd come save you, then smack you for needing saving," she says.

In all seriousness, though, I'm sure I won't be as bad of a lost cause as I'm making myself out to be.  (I do shower, people, I swear to god) I might blame it on the summer: the sweltering hot weather has given me no motivation to get up and actually do something.  Otherwise, I don't actually have a reason aside from that fact that I'm purely lazy.  Perhaps, when I'm out on my own, knowing that the safety net of my parents won't be back in five days, I'll get myself together completely: it's that knowledge that my parents will be back soon that gives me the attitude of "eh, fuck it, we can run the dishwasher and do the laundry the day before they get back."  I'm certain I'll learn how to cook once I quickly get tired of Kraft Dinner or boxed mashed potatoes night after night

Considering all of this has made me want to shower this very instant.