Pass the bottle of Jack, I need to brush my teeth

Good morning.  (I don't particularly feel like P Diddy)

Here's something I've noticed about myself, especially in the past few weeks what with school restarted; every night, as I'm trying to fall asleep (you know, the time where you flirt with the line between alert consciousness and peaceful slumber) - mind still active, and still under my own control - I plan out things I want to change about myself the next morning when I wake up.

When I'm sleeping, I decide to myself I'll wake up at 7 or 8am every weekday (weekends won't count) and go downstairs to my basement and do an hour on the bike/treadmill my family has and uses more as ornaments than machines.  I have yet to start that.

I delegate times in my mind where I'd catch up with some readings I've fallen behind with, and plan schedules for my future weeks, deciding what time I'll read what textbook.  I even usually decide to buy a whiteboard calendar to hang in my room, so I can copy out every single reading for every single class, and wipe them off as I go along with completion; some sort of motivation.  I'm still behind.

I pretend to live out future scenarios - who doesn't - where I say all the right things at all the right times to the right person (people?), and they magically say the things I want to hear.  Come afternoon, evening, wherever on the next day, it's still the same formulaic greet, laugh, See ya!

Sometimes, I decide to myself in the comfort of my blanket that I can change absolutely everything about my life the following day, and that it only takes one step at a time.  Each morning when I wake up, and I do nothing about what I planned - is it a subconscious affirmation that I'm actually okay with myself, and that all the things I've decided would better myself are actually immaterial, and I can survive one more day without because I've done so thus far?  Or rather, is it some sort of subconscious procrastination?

If anything, here's a step in the right direction: I planned this blog post as I was trying to fall asleep last night.  Positive action, yeah?